A Child’s Prayer
Yesterday I was perusing pinterest and my dear friend Paige had posted a quote from the LDS Primary Song A Child’s Prayer that really hit me.
I remember growing up singing this song and always said it was my favorite, but had long since forgotten about it and hadn’t heard or sung it in years. It’s funny how applicable it seems now. Here I am trying to bring two little children into this world, but I have never felt more vulnerable and like a child myself as I lay in bed unable to do anything for myself and nothing to do but hope and pray. I love the message of hope this song delivers that our prayers are answered by a loving father in heaven.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eb29gVgaHcY&w=420&h=315]
Many people have asked to see a picture of the twins. Here they are, I think these pictures are so precious and I love the new ultrasounds that show their little features.
As far as treatment goes, things haven’t changed a lot with me. I am still contracting periodically, although there is no longer any sign of a fever. A doctor came in to speak with me yesterday and said that she and the other doctor had not been in good communication. She thought I still might be a candidate for the cerclage, but she wasn’t happy that I was receiving meds to stop contractions because she didn’t feel comfortable doing the cerclage without knowing what I was doing on my own. She took me off the meds and said we would wait another 24-48 hours (yahoo, love waiting). Because my fever went away and my contractions are painless and haven’t gotten worse she doesn’t really think there is an infection. I am just hoping that I can make it another 24 hours with minimal contractions and without having my water break/any other signs of labor. It’s stressful to lay here and try to get my body to cooperate when I really have no control, but was happy because the doctor seemed at least somewhat more hopeful. Let’s see what the next day or two have in store.
Dear Amanda and Kyle,
Words cannot express how saddened we are to hear of your loss. We want to let you know that we’ve been thinking and praying for your little family. Our hearts go out to you during this difficult time. May God wrap His arms around you and give you peace, hope and strength that can only come from Him.
Love,
Ralph, Lidia, Kayla and Kelsey
Love you Amanda. I wrote something and when I tried to post it it would not load. I sent you a message on Facebook. I am so sorry that trials like this even exist, and that you had to experience the loss of your first babies. It is painful, even with the knowledge of the gospel. Take it one day at a time. Heavenly Father is aware of your pain. How wonderful that He gave us the gift of time to heal our broken hearts. I love you!
Tia Beverly
Amanda; my name is Sharon Hudson. Paige is my beloved granddaughter. I have known your grandmother, Marge, for many years. She has always been a dear friend. I am so very sorry for this tremendous, unspeakable loss of your beautiful, precious little ones. My heart goes out to you with great empathy and compassion. May you and your husband continue to find comfort in KNOWING that they are in the arms of HIS love, safely awaiting the day you will be reunited with them. I do not, nor can I begin to understand your heartache and loss, for I have not experienced the loss if a beloved child. One year ago today, I was sitting beside my dearest husband, waiting and watching, with aching heart, as he struggled to leave this life and pass into eternity. It is painful, gut-wrenching, and so emotional; and yet in a strange, indescribable way, peaceful at the same time. Perhaps that is the ‘strength beyond my own’ that you spoke of. I just know that we are loved and watched over, and comforted, by our beloved Father in Heaven. I love that scripture ‘….And mine angels shall be round about you, to bear you up.’ I have prayed for you so many times and continue to do so. May your knowledge of the gospel bring you the peace to carry on thru this mortal journey. Love to you both.